grenade; my pride

so it took me 2 weeks to write in this blog, and its 2am and my flight tomorrow is at 7.25 am. as in MORNING -.-


but this is something i should have done long ago, but because of me, myself, afraid that if i ever write these in words, it would hurt me soon, and seriously, i have no guts to recall everything. but i was selfish, i know, to only think about one tiny shitty predicament that had happen to us but ignore the bloody amazing real deal, grenade itself.
grenade is not bruno mars's song, it's a family of mine, MY debate family. so as we all know, when it is called a family, it stays together, no matter what, and we signed a contract to always be there. grenade is an escape for me, a place where i feel like i belong and safe. safe and definitely happy.


i love my grenade to bits. and im always grateful that i have them to be all mine, i seriously couldnt ask for more. no im not being sentimental all so sudden just because i read pika's blog just now (okay maybe a little), but i want to do this. i want myself to know. hksbp will always be the same each year, but this year a got something a little special. i got to be the captain, and im very proud of it. because i have a team, that not only people look up at, but if anybody in the future ask me about my debate team, i will PROUDLY say grenade, and i will always be proud until my last breath. so what if we lost at quarters? we knew who should've won and who should have go to finals, girls we had already won :D


Honestly, in my life, i have never been prouder to lose. i have never been prouder to walk away from tkc and smile because i know this had been the best ppm ever. i got a family behind me who worked their asses off to get to where we are now. i got the other debaters talking and spying on my team, fearing to hear stf's name. my dears, winning is not about getting the trophy, it is about each day you do better than before, and at the end of the day you could smile and walk with pride. i just hope you know how much i admire all of you grenaders, and how proud i am to be your captain. and words couldnt simply describe what/how i feel.


So here are those people that i had been blaberring about; 
Kimi, oh sorry kak kimi :) my source of strength and courage. though i hate the fact that ur so nice and all(this is definitely not a compliment), and though i hate the fact that darn it, i owe u so much, you know we love you and if its not because of you, we SERIOUSLY would not be here. i can't thank you enough, there's absolutely no way i could repay you and im sorry for that.
Pika, oh come on, you know how much i love you right. i wont make this a lovey-dovey message but just one thing, you kept me going on strong and fighting till the end, and i THANK YOU. im proud of you my dear, always am and always will.
Adle, gosh u have to know how much i admire you from the beginning till the end. you fought for this like this is your last chance for living and i watch you become stronger than ever. you are way more that what i expected you to be and, i couldnt have been prouder. its like im a mum watching my child grow so well (and yuck) , okay you know how that feels. thank you dear for always believing.
Kak Qis, u have been with me since 2009 and i love you so much. u were there when we needed you the most, ur the best sister anybody could have ever asked for. thank you :)
Kak qhaleeda and Kak syafira, for caring for us eventhough their debate journeys are over. thank you


and my sisters from another mother :)
Dhammy, thank you for every single thing and you have keep up with my harping and my blabbering and hey, u survived! thank you for all the hard work and i couldnt ask for more dedication from you :D
Alya, i watched intensely as you work your ass off and i genuinely admire the courage and the passion that you have in debate. thank you for pushing yourself to the limits and actually set no limits to your dream, u taught me a lot :)
Lynn, u proved to me ur not just a typical girl who loves english. u are wayy more than that, and i know ur meant for wicked things ahead.
Thariah, i have no worries on you my dear. with the passion and determination that you have, u are absolutely gonna be just fine and amazing. i promise you that
Aqilah and Mai, we are so happy to have such wonderful young girls in our family who have such a bright future ahead. just trust us girls, dont grow up, stay like this and have fun doing what you love. thank you for everything girls.
GIRLS, YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE A HELL OF A DEBATER. I am so thrilled and proud. thank you so much for every single thing.


so to grenade, i am awfully sorry for all the things that i have done ( a lot i know), and i hope i did my job as a captain, if not well, i hope you guys will find ways to ever forgive me for all my mistakes. i love you, and i'll say it a thousand times, thank you so much.